NO MAKEUP FOR BEAUTY Challenge DAY 5: Now what?

The challenge is at a close, and I am left with a bittersweet taste in my heart. I will miss being on a confidence kick from rocking “my naked face”, for it has made me bolder, and believe it or not, allowed me to feel prettier at times, more content than ever to just be me. But while I have had a bit of fun realizing the hard truths about myself and the world in which I live, I am not able to say I will never again wear makeup or that this “study” has turned me off from liking to wear make up. Much to my dismay, that would be an outright lie. I still it: I love my powder and the fact that my foundation can take years off my eye area, how my gloss can make my lips look two sizes bigger. The difference is, now, I have ALSO learned to love my face WITHOUT the the war paint, the zits, the blotches, the crows feet, all the icky mixed in with the good. And lo and behold, I will admit as I truly have learned, there is much good!

Negative to no makeup: Not a one today, not a one.
Perk of no makeup: Not having to wipe off the day old eyeliner that I forgot to take off the night before. Owie, right?
AND, for extra fun, the glow of a perfectly clean face has begun to feel like home and, without being too arrogant, in the words of one of my favorite work buds, “it’s working for me”.

Social test: Work, grocery store, dance AND the mall. No fears to report, no nervous strides embarked in my hot pink Nike’s, all and all I have become accustomed to this new “attitude” and wear it well. If I were being honest, and I do my best to do that often, I’ve actually noticed more women NOT wearing makeup in public than ever before. Did I not care before to look, being so blinded by my every day personal struggle with vanity? Am I late to the party here, has this trend been going on all along and I’m just now jumping on the bandwagon?

Revelation: MY LAST ONE:( Going out with a bang here, but with great leaps come great things. The biggest, hardest pillto swallow in this entire challenge is as follows: Make up, regardless of the context it is used in, is a mask. We put it on to hide our flaws, to perk up our assets, and put on a persona of something we want to be instead of what and who we really are. Whether you put it on for fun, pleasure, or because the thought of someone seeing your naked face makes you uneasy, you are putting it on. In life, each of us is a co-conspirator, and not just with makeup. Clothing, material possessions, friendships we keep, jobs we take, social issues we fight for – how many different masks do we keep and why? Are you the same person at home that you are with family? At the office? At the bar after work with friends? Do you fight for a certain right in public the same as you do with a select few of “learned” individuals?
Enter another great film “Runaway Bride”. The character played by the beautifully funny Julia Roberts has had a slew of failed relationships in her past. In researching her life’s backstory for an article, Richard Gere finds out that with every different man she loved, she liked her eggs a different way. With one overeasy, another poached, and so on. She didn’t feel comfortable with herself, she had lost herself along the way, her persona entangled into everyone else’s viewpoints, opinions and needs that with every relationship she morphed into what she felt she had to be.
Tough stuff, that. How do you like your eggs?

Heart says: I like mine over-easy, or “dippy eggs” as I used to tell my mom in the morning. If I can’t dip my toast into it, forget about it. Thankfully, my egg preference has always been the same, BUT, in more important places of myself, not so much. I’ve changed much and more of my ideals, my wants, needs, goals because I felt someone else wanted me to, or I’d fit in better with the crowd I wanted to be “in” with if I pretended to like things this way. My makeup is only the surface of this issue. Where else in life do I “put on a mask”, what made me do it, how long have I been doing it, and more importantly, what can I start doing to get it off?
Being yourself, while sounding so generic, is actually one of the most amazing points to a great personality because it’s one of the hardest things to do in life, no matter who you are or where you came from. At first, you must truly know yourself, love your flaws and your assets and realize that there is no such thing as ultimate perfection. No, let me rephrase, ACCEPT there is no such thing. Don’t let someone’s opinion of you become your reality. Make your own reality. KNOW what you want and what it will take to get it. KNOW what you dislike and don’t try to justify reasons to stay away from it, just let it go. Habits aren’t formed overnight and they don’t go away that quickly either, but if you strive to work on something one moment, one day at a time, with dilligence, with perserverance, the mask will fade away and you will be staring at your beautiful, naked heart in the mirror.
If you are anything like me, a control freak of sorts who has to have everything in its own little box because it makes sense there, who takes everyone else’s view of your life more seriously than you do your own side of the story, this next part will be a struggle for you. Lay down . . .trust me . . .I have my feet up just typing it. In most things, there are no absolute shades of black and white. I know. I know. Take a breather, it will all be okay. There are several shades of grey in this little life we live and that is okay. That is okay. That is OKAY. What side of the grey do you want to be on? What shade of grey makes you, YOU? Wipe away the superficial, other’s expectations of you, guilt of failures past or embarassment at foolish dreams. Only YOU can answer this.

I have proven the stereotype that pretty girls are usually the most insecure. We have issues too, contrary to some’s belief, stemming from inside to out, and the work we put in isn’t any more easy than that of someone the world labels “not so pretty”. I have also proven I have issues, tons, buckets full, and this is only the icing on the cake in bringing those demons out of the catacombs. I started easy – the makeup was just the beginning and gave me the start of what now is turning to be a very inviting overhaul makeover of life, a process that will take years, a relationship that will be the longest one I’ve ever had, one that I can be proud of, one that I can leave as a legacy to my kids and their kids after them.

In closing, I challenge all of you to do something big. Something grandiose, whether it sounds easy, ridiculous, impossible. Our true character is seen when pushed outside of it’s comfort zone. Surprise yourself, surprise someone else.
Take it deeper. Quiet yourself, not everything that goes through your head is normal, nor does it need an audience. Don’t shy away from making someone else feel good about themselves. Watch your mouth, even the simplest things said can change a future. Love your “issues” just as much as you love your “strengths”, in ignoring them you are becoming your worst enemy. Be a light in a world of darkness, it’s okay to be different. BE YOURSELF.

Although I know it’s unfair I reveal myself one mask at a time.
Stephen Dunn

Until next time<3

All original content copyright Sara Elzerman, 2013.